Thinking aloud


Absolute stillness, incredible silence
A sense of solidarity
Descending on my curvature.
Limbs drooping down
Locks waving Hayward
Thoughts strayed
Stretching towards the dooms day.
With the center dislocated
I am moving away.
Eyes fixed on the noose
tempted by the temptation
to question you. Tell me
why are the loops dangling loose?

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About jyoti

with her trailing gaze the shy maverick clings on and through the supple foreplay of her aesthetic sense and a beatific smile insatiates the mellifluous melange!! View all posts by jyoti

6 responses to “Thinking aloud

  • unknownshri

    My immediate thought is – suicide or hanging someone, mostly a martyr (solidarity bit). This very effectively captures the despair in that moment before death.

    If I think metaphorically – this tells me about some1 who is feeling very clobbered in a relationship, does a decent job of showing that some1’s increasing distance from the partner.

    I like how much you’ve said here with so few words.

    However, I don’t like the line – “tempted by the temptation”. It’s a misfit in that string of those lines, where line goes beyond what it reads.

    • jyoti

      What sort of martyr could this persona be…a religious or a political martyr or simply some one martyred in relationship? Solidarity could be with the extreme silence around, feeling one with every dark thought that floats around. Yes, of course there is an overt indication to finality and death esp with the use of words such as “noose” and “dooms day”

      What sort of the partner is this? who is this “you?” The poet might be talking to her own split self.

      I can’t really tell you the exact objective of writing this poem. But it definitely has to do with the state of utter despair. For me, the dislocated center become the reason for that despair and that dislocation has caused this extreme sense of negativity ( if I may call that in loose sense). Also, this crisis caused due to decentralization ( and dislocation) brings forth chaos and disorder

      • unknownshri

        Yes the split self is an obvious interpretation. You and your chronic depression state!

        The poem does a good job of capturing despair at a moment in time, when the person/poet/whateva is asking another wateva ‘Why is the noose loose?’ – It doesn’t go onto hint at ‘further chaos’ and point towards a state of ‘increasing ‘disorder’.

  • jyoti

    Yes, the last line is imp but other lines too are imp. With ref to the chaos I was talking abt, it is prominent in- “Limbs drooping down
    Locks waving Hayward
    Thoughts strayed”
    🙂

  • unknownshri

    I don’t disagree. But guess you misunderstood what I said. Your lines do capture chaos, melancholy, depression and all that…but there is no hint in the poem that it’s a continued state of existence. That jump in imagination is difficult, especially considering the ‘noose’, which generally should be immediate – who puts a noose and keeps pondering?

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