Compliments and the way we deal with them


The moment we are asked to articulate/express, we either respond instinctively or try to brainstorm ourselves with ideas. It happens more often when we are asked to present an opinion, describe something or simply build something out of our head.

However, it is relatively easy to respond when we are hit by criticism. The response pops out more or less like a reflex action .  Immediately we have our life guards and oxygen masks on and we dive into to the pool of justifications and explanations. And, we are ready to do everything- argue, discuss, debate, explain, fight, negotiate and sometimes by practicing silence- till we have either ensured ourselves that we have driven the point we were trying to make right through or convinced ourselves that the other person is a fool!

Such is the superiority of ‘I’  that no matter what it takes, we will never let it down!

Though we know that the ‘I’ is not supposed to be perfect, but since we have learnt to capitalize it since our Grammar classes-days, we can’t let it go down. ask the psychoanalysts and he will tell you that the sense of ‘I’ was cultivated right in the beginning so that we can differentiate ourselves from everything else.

Therefore, everything that is around us is either ‘I (me/ my/mine)’ or ‘non-I’

So, it wasn’t really Steve Jobs who flooded us with ieverything, rather this minuscule amount of creativity involving the ‘I’ is inherent in us all from the time when our stem cells decided to specialize into organs.

But this ‘I’ flounders or is taught to flounder when it is hit by appreciation or compliments, courtesy: the rules of modesty and humility taught in our civil society.

So how do we react when somebody says:

“Oh my goodness! you are so pretty/ handsome/smart…etc. (or anything about your physical appearance).”

If it’s a girl who is being complimented, she should necessarily blush first, isn’t it?

( Sorry! wake up time. This is not Victorian Society, but in case you boyfriend loves it, go for it because after this he will soon say, you look more beautiful when you blush!)

After this, you could possibly say:

“Thank you” (your modesty at its best, which also means you don’t what to say)

Or

“Oh! that’s because i use ____and _____ beauty products!”  (Brand Ambassador’s line)

Or

“That’s in my gene” (to show that you remember your classes on genes and heredity!)

Or

“Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder” (works perfectly when you have blushed enough)

Or

“That’s because I attended finishing school where they taught me tips on personality development” ( I know you would never say that unless Honesty is one of your limitations!)

Or

“Give me something that I don’t know/ That I haven’t heard before!” (Wit that certainly borders on arrogance but this is an another way of saying, “I have got other admirers too so you should try something new!)

Now, the next thing that we are complimented for is the way we do something like writing, cooking, playing, talking, calculating etc…(this could be a very long list)

Commonly used responses:

“Thank you! It comes naturally to me!” ( modesty at its best  once again and probably it also means that don’t ask me anything about how I do it, because I myself have no clue.)

Or

you can use some above mentioned response, such as:

“That’s in my gene” ( which is infact an extremely information-loaded statement because it suggests your family background, the likes of, “tumhe pata nhi, mera baap kaun hai “)

But how do we deal with compliments on our specific personality traits, such as:

“You are the source of my inspiration/ you inspire me a lot.”

The only Response that I can think for this would be “That’s because Paulo Coelho is my personal mentor”

Or

“You write good romantic poems”

Response: “Yes, I belong to the third generation of Romantic poets” (and my biggest achievement is that I alone am sufficient to screw up the entire genre)! ( don’t forget to mention who were the first and second generation Romantic poets!)

Or

“You have got such  beautiful/nice  children”

Response: Finally someone realized what am I actually good at! ( which only means that you chose for yourself a good partner, remember genetics classes)

But the best of all is when someone compliments you by saying:

“You have got a very beautiful smile! “

On this are we supposed to say, ” You see, that’s the way my lips are” ( Really!!!!)

Or

Once again, ” That’s in my genes”

Or

You could simply play that smile again for him/her (remember those rules of modesty)

And yes, last but not the least if you think that this post is good/ well-written/ funny etc. then I am just too stunned to respond back!

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About jyoti

with her trailing gaze the shy maverick clings on and through the supple foreplay of her aesthetic sense and a beatific smile insatiates the mellifluous melange!! View all posts by jyoti

11 responses to “Compliments and the way we deal with them

  • Nishita

    “Paulo Coelho is my personal mentor!” 😉

  • shubhamc21

    i don’t know why i feel like somewhere in a very minute way, i have been a source of the idea for this article 😛
    PS: try not using many emoticons with your puns, let them speak for themselves

  • unfinished creations

    Nishita: That was my pick too! the sheer pleasure in taking a dig at Paulo and his fans…just too tempting! 😀

    Shubham: Yes, in a very big away. (no, don’t think that I am just trying to sound modest) But, I could not accredit you because:
    1. I did not know how to tag you in the post. (after all when it comes to blogging, I am still learning to “hold the brush to launch the stroke”)
    2. I did not know how to reach you to seek your approval.:)

    P.S. don’t you think the post looks better in its edited version, sans all emoticons! 😛

    • shubhamc21

      Wow.. well thanks then 🙂
      And you can tag in many ways, like you can simply give a link of my blog under my name or you can hyperlink any of my blog post.. and there are other ways too..
      Anddd… how to reach me!? There’s facebook, twitter, phone, email etc etc etc.. 😛

      Anyway, i didn’t want to be tagged, your comment is good enough for me 🙂 Told you the ways coz u said u din’t know..

  • unfinished creations

    Subham: “words are the only wealth I distribute among people” and I guess you took me just too literally! 😛

    But yes, Thank you, I genuinely wanted to know how to do that! Thanks!!

  • Nishita!

    ..now ”you took me just too literally!” read between the lines!! 😛

  • unfinished creations

    Nishita “with an exclamation” I am rather exclaimed to see you exclaim thus. In your comment you gave me a single line which was imported from the post itself and then you ask to “read between the lines”. Where are the line(s)?

    Somehow, your emoticon speaks louder than you words/lines!! 😛

  • Nishita

    Aap na.. eff off ho jao!! I meant to say YOU INSPIRE ME because my ‘single line imported from the port itself’ say this in ‘the post’.huh :/ 😛

  • ayushagarwal87

    @ jyoti- I could easily relate to every single example that you have
    shared….
    You have analysed the human psychology beautifully….keep up
    the good work!!

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